New Apps & Services that Don’t Exist but (sort of) Should

 

There’s an app for nearly everything. But wouldn’t it be nice to have a few new apps that would combine the best elements of some of our favorites? Or extend the basic principles of popular apps to new markets? Here are some ideas for any developers out there…

Twinder
A dating app for people who want to hook up, but want their dates to speak no more than 140 characters.

Snap-Tinder
This dating app is for people who want to hook up and then have their dates disappear 5 seconds later.

EverVine
This great productivity app harnesses the enhanced memory of Evernote so you’ll never forget Vine is still installed on your phone. Even now, more than a year after you’ve stopped using it.

Tindüber
App that allows you to swipe left and right through profiles to find a driver whose unwanted sexual advances will be a bit less objectionable.

gFood
A Restaurant where Google serves you food for free, but waiters use complex algorithms to deliver ad content based on your conversational topics.
WARNING – iOS users may be confused by the menus.

Candy SnapCrush
Handy app that lets you play that goddam Candy Crush Saga, but only for 5 seconds at a time. Also works for Flappy Bird.
PRO TIP – install it on your wife’s phone.

AirBnTinder
Swipe left and right through profiles to find people who will have sex with you for a night, a week, or even a whole month. It’s not prostitution, it’s the “sharing economy.”

Gewöhnlich
It’s just Über for the German market, but uses the German word for “ordinary” since many users in Deutchland feel having an app called “Über” on their phone is just one “alles” away from getting them in trouble.

Shitzam
Listening to a podcast, talk radio show or Fox news report and not quite sure who it is you’re listening to or how much they’re bullshitting? Hold up your phone, and Shitzam will identify the speaker and fact check the distorted information about economics, science or Barack Obama’s place of birth.
PRO TIP – comes in handy when US President Trump or his Press Secretary speak, tweet or say, “Fake news.”

GuiltFlix
This subscription service is much less expensive than Netflix or a monthly cable bill. While it doesn’t actually provide any content, it does relieve your guilt for illegally watching movies and TV on Mobdro or via good old fashioned bit torrenting.
NOTE – 40% of the proceeds support artists by helping actors pay for improv classes at UCB and writers get bootleg copies of Final Draft.

TinderYelp
Helpful site where Tinder profiles are reviewed by those that have met, chatted with and/or had sex with them. Does she not want to meet, but just to chat? Does he have two kids not mentioned in his profile? Is that pic of her doing charity work in Belize photoshopped? TinderYelp has the answer.


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